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I wrote this essay at first and prof said it was too personal and need to focus
I wrote this essay at first and prof said it was too personal and need to focus more on greek life itself and the benefits. Also dive deeper intp the counterarguemnt and touch on the horrible things that have happened. I would like you to use most of my essay and just add more info and make it sound a lot better. I got a 70 on this one and would like to get much higher on the rewrite. From Prof: We have read several short responses from college students that address the benefits and hazards of exclusionary communities to the individual and collective. These articles were responding to the tragedy that befell Piazza at a pledge party. Now it is time for you to state your position through a careful synthesis of two of these articles. Choose between paper two and three and rewrite it using my comments and all the tools and skills we have discussed this semester. This should be a substantial rewrite, not just a nip and tuck. I will be comparing it to your original version. Article links are https://www.businessinsider.com/fraternities-have-their-problems-but-dont-forget-about-their-good-work-2017-7 https://www.businessinsider.com/cornell-student-fraternities-have-their-problems-and-benefits-2017-7 https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/04/03/penn-state-timothy-piazza-first-jail-terms-issued-hazing-death/3353467002/

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